INSIDE THE MIND OF A BULLY

Bullying a hard but very common word, heard by many, affecting so many, done by many!

Bullying is something that sadly affects all kinds of people young and old. Many children fear bullying from peers every single day. But it's not only children that face the daily fears of a bully. Adults of all kinds also face the fear of a bully. There is bullying in the school, collage, uni, workplace, streets, home, EVERYWHERE! We come across it everyday, we read about it, see, it and sadly many of you reading this post may off even dealt with it.

Reason for this post ? My 8 year old son that has Asperger's has become a victim of a bully! Yesterday I wrote the post Aspergers and bullying on my blog A boy with Asperger's. I needed to vent my Anger at what was happening and share with others my felling on bullying and how this bully had made me fell. It's hard for the child, harder still if that child is not good with social skills. My sons tears and fears made an anger boil within me, one I can honestly say I have never felt. We all say ( well many do ) children will be children. NO I DISAGREE! MY CHILD WILL NOT BE A BULLY!

 I have had many parents and even sadder teachers use this phrase when referring to a bully. I think as a parent we have to show our children that bullying is a NO NO. I drum into my children's heads that inflecting fear on another person is a horrible thing to do. My son has been known to make comments that are seen as sometimes rude to others. But this is something beyond my control as this is something that happens with a child on the spectrum of autism. This is why my son will  at times discover that this has lead him into trouble with children and adults. I try to teach him skills on communication on a daily basis. He will now sometimes count to ten before speaking his opinion.

 Bullying is in some way as hard for the parent as it is the child. As my child was HIT by this bully ( more then once ) I really wanted my son to march down there and hit him back. Of course this did not happen. I know two wrongs don't make a right and as a parent hitting is something I teach my children not to do. But when you discover your child's been hurt by fist as well as words you are greeted with anger that almost or does bring tears to your eyes.

Is it true that most bullies are really acting in this way in order to suppress a frustration of something not right in their own life's. Most bullies are weak! I believe this to be true. When there is a bully in a relationship ( The controlling partner or abuser ) you will find that this person has great insecurities of there own, maybe from past relationships or they were the victims of a bully themselves. When the partner in a relationship is bullying their loved one it's not uncommon that that person is unaware of themselves being seen as a bully and when told they are likely to be upset and shocked that you could even suggested such a thing.

I have been told by an ex bully that some bullies become addicted to the felling of power that they gain over there victims. That's why there seems to be a number of bullies found within the work place today. How many people have you heard about that have had to step down from their jobs as the result of being the bosses victim. 

The mind of a bully is a somewhat puzzling affair! Do they have felling of guilt or not ? Is it powerful to hold ones fear, to control it in which ever way they want. Enjoy intimidating offers. I don't know! Reason I'm no bully. But if you are be sure to comment and share what it's like in the mind of a bully.