WOMEN AND SIZE

Today us as women are so completely obsessed with our weight. It's sad but so very true, because yes I'm just as bad, I'm one of them many obsessed women. It's so sad that many of us girls fell the need to be a certain weight before we are comfortable, even then we are not happy. Are we ever happy with the way we look ?

The reason I find myself writing this is because of a recent conversation with a close friend of mine. You see she has a friend that yes I know but not extremely well. She is around 30 weeks pregnant. She doesn't look like she is reason being is because she has an eating disorder. Yes I understand this because I myself went through this in my teens when my OCD was at it's worse. But god it makes me so angry as I recently lost a baby at 11 weeks pregnant. I would of been 33 weeks now, just 3 weeks a head of her :(

I look at young girls today and think god what chance have they got? Some girls are so scared of the word fat! And why? Because that's the way it is today. THIN IS IN AND ALWAYS HAS BEEN. As a woman we have more control, but still it's hard. WHY CAN'T WE JUST LOVE OURSELVES ?  My daughter is six and I hope she never fells that way. I have heard that girls this young are already worrying about there size. I'm forever telling my princess she is gorgeous, because she is:)

Will women ever win the battle ?

DO YOU HAVE OCD

I have come up with a fantastic idea!

Every Month I interview somebody over at A boy With Aspergers. As most know this is another of my blogs. All the interviews are autism related, and boy are they becoming a hit. So I fault hay lets do something like that over here. My plan is to find someone to interview each and every month as a blog feature. So my first interview will be on the topic of OCD. Then maybe the next panic disorders. So if your Interested then leave a comment. Wanna read some autism related interviews or take part in one ( No spaces left to July ) Then pop yourself over to A boy with Aspergers and see what all the fuss is about. 

Will Inform readers of the upcoming interview on OCD in the next coming weeks.

SCARED OF DEATH

Are you scared of dieing ?

Does the very word make you freak ?

Death used to be one of my biggest fears, I suppose it still is. Death is something my OCD was wrapped around. I would make myself check and count by using the feared DEATH. How ? Simple! In my wacky head would come the feared if you do not get up and check that the cooker is off or the telly is unplugged then something bad will happen to someone you love ( Something bad would often mean death ) This used to send me crazy, for someone who has never battled OCD this may sound crazy, silly, mad and more. But if you have lived in my world of OCD, Fear and Panic I'm guessing you somehow understand. As I have said many times before things are better these days, meaning better then my teenage years when I would spend the nights up and down out of bed counting plug sockets and then unplugging my mothers freezer resulting in her weeks food shopping ending up in the bin ( not a happy mummy ) But of late I have had an attack of the OCD maybe I'm stress who knows I'm just battling the monster the best way I know. The mind is a powerful tool, Lets just remember it's ours so we can control it if we really want to.

RETURN OF THE OCD

Lately my life has been a little crazy!

It's when life is this way that danger begins. Yes the monster known to me as OCD has a horrible habit of baring it's ugly self. It's not to bad right now but it's there and that makes me panic. My life long battle with the disorder is something I used to hide in shame, but not anymore! I know I'm not mad or crazy ( OK SOME MAY NOT AGREE ) OCD is just one of them mind games that a lot of us play from time to time. I think that OCD is within a small part of all of  us. It's just how we perceive it, do we let it take over, take control? I'm just one of those many people that find it extremely difficult to ignore what is going on in my mind. I stress, stress some more, worry, worry some more then bang HELLO MRS OCD. Thing is I'm kind of worrying about stuff that I really can't control, although I wish I could these situations are really out of my hands and in the hands of god. I need to learn to kick back, relax and let life run it's course! but come on easier said then done. 

INSIDE THE MIND OF A BULLY

Bullying a hard but very common word, heard by many, affecting so many, done by many!

Bullying is something that sadly affects all kinds of people young and old. Many children fear bullying from peers every single day. But it's not only children that face the daily fears of a bully. Adults of all kinds also face the fear of a bully. There is bullying in the school, collage, uni, workplace, streets, home, EVERYWHERE! We come across it everyday, we read about it, see, it and sadly many of you reading this post may off even dealt with it.

Reason for this post ? My 8 year old son that has Asperger's has become a victim of a bully! Yesterday I wrote the post Aspergers and bullying on my blog A boy with Asperger's. I needed to vent my Anger at what was happening and share with others my felling on bullying and how this bully had made me fell. It's hard for the child, harder still if that child is not good with social skills. My sons tears and fears made an anger boil within me, one I can honestly say I have never felt. We all say ( well many do ) children will be children. NO I DISAGREE! MY CHILD WILL NOT BE A BULLY!

 I have had many parents and even sadder teachers use this phrase when referring to a bully. I think as a parent we have to show our children that bullying is a NO NO. I drum into my children's heads that inflecting fear on another person is a horrible thing to do. My son has been known to make comments that are seen as sometimes rude to others. But this is something beyond my control as this is something that happens with a child on the spectrum of autism. This is why my son will  at times discover that this has lead him into trouble with children and adults. I try to teach him skills on communication on a daily basis. He will now sometimes count to ten before speaking his opinion.

 Bullying is in some way as hard for the parent as it is the child. As my child was HIT by this bully ( more then once ) I really wanted my son to march down there and hit him back. Of course this did not happen. I know two wrongs don't make a right and as a parent hitting is something I teach my children not to do. But when you discover your child's been hurt by fist as well as words you are greeted with anger that almost or does bring tears to your eyes.

Is it true that most bullies are really acting in this way in order to suppress a frustration of something not right in their own life's. Most bullies are weak! I believe this to be true. When there is a bully in a relationship ( The controlling partner or abuser ) you will find that this person has great insecurities of there own, maybe from past relationships or they were the victims of a bully themselves. When the partner in a relationship is bullying their loved one it's not uncommon that that person is unaware of themselves being seen as a bully and when told they are likely to be upset and shocked that you could even suggested such a thing.

I have been told by an ex bully that some bullies become addicted to the felling of power that they gain over there victims. That's why there seems to be a number of bullies found within the work place today. How many people have you heard about that have had to step down from their jobs as the result of being the bosses victim. 

The mind of a bully is a somewhat puzzling affair! Do they have felling of guilt or not ? Is it powerful to hold ones fear, to control it in which ever way they want. Enjoy intimidating offers. I don't know! Reason I'm no bully. But if you are be sure to comment and share what it's like in the mind of a bully.

Today Im going to be me.

We spend much of our life's tyring to better ourselves, impress someone or change something. I don't care who says "Well I don't" Because whoever you are you know that there has been a time, point in your life that you have done this. Maybe it was when you was a teen ( we all did this as teenagers ) or maybe it was that last job interview you had. COME ON DO WE ALL SPEAK AS POSH AS WE DID WHEN METING THE NEW BOSS? Can you see what I'm saying? I find as we grow older into an adult we begin to think sod it if they can't except me as I am then bad luck, walk away. This statement really reveres to relationships ( well for me it does and if you think about it harder you will probably find it does you to! ) When we first meet that oh so special person that gives us the butterflies we do indeed act in a different way. WELL TO AN EXTENT! We never really show the real complete me do we ? That will always come with time. Half the time we don't even know we are doing it. That's why it's called getting to now someone, or people say do you know the real he/she ? It's just the way us as humans are. I love it when you hear someone say "OMG he wasn't like that when I meet him or I would of run a mile!" News flash! Of course he didn't walk around saying five years down the line i will show you the prick in me! ( that sounded wrong and some what rude lol ) Also we need to remember with each and every stage in life we change, not completely but to some degree we change!  I used to like partying every weekend and with it I would become totally drunk! Now I rarely get the chance for a good night out and can't remember the last time I even had a drink. Children change you! The last time I was out I had a great time but had it sober. No I wasn't driving but the fault of a hungover with two screaming children put me right off lol. 

If we are not acting somehow not ourselves then we are trying to change something about ourselves! I know this is something most woman can relate to, Men to I agree but being a woman I know that at sometime through our life's maybe it's once a month when we have a period or in our teenage years we discover something we don't like or just fell could use a little improvement. Being someone with OCD this is something easy for me to say yer I really can relate to that. I honestly spent half if not 3/4 of my 26 years trying to change or better something about myself. At the age of 12 I did in fact end up in hospital, My OCD was hard and I was having some food issues ( silly ways I tyred to stay thin ) that it all become to much and I took a lot of pills, panicked and ended up having to tell all to a councillor:( I try to always tell my princess how pretty and perfect she is ) I tell both my kids you are who you are never hide from it or be ashamed of who you are. I need to tell my son this often. Having Aspergers ( A type of autism on the autistic spectrum ) Other children have been known to be nasty taking the mick out his love of trains and buses. Maybe it's lucky he has this obsessed interest as a child with ASD because he does not become as upset about these remakes as would his sister or any other child that is not on the spectrum. 

Next time you have something important to attend someone to meet who needs impressing then tell yourself that today I'm going to be me. I bet this way thinks will go a whole lot smoother. TRUST ME.

The gift of memory

Memory, One of the most important tools us as human being need.

Well with out the memory we would be completely lost. Today I was watching one of my favorite films. 50 first dates staring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. A very funny but interesting film, that I must admit gets you thinking what if! In this romantic comedy Lucy ( Drew Barrymore ) has had a car crash the result unfortunately is that she suffers short -term memory loss. When Henry ( Adam Sandler ) falls for her he is unaware of her condition. They arrange to have breakfast the next morning, but when he turns up and tries to talk to her she freaks out. The thing is Lucy remembers everything up In to the night before the accident but nothing after that as when she sleeps the days events get wiped from her memory. Every single day Henry has to go to amazing lengths to make Lucy fall in love with him all over again. Well to cut a long story short. Henry makes Lucy a video tape that she has to watch every morning when she wakes up just so she knows who he is, what day it is, and what's been happening in her life since she lost her memory. After a number of ups and downs amazingly they go on to marry and have a child.

I know that this is a film I'm chatting on about! But it is something that happens in peoples lives. We do take things for grunted. The memory is used over and over it's the mental capacity to store and later recall or recognize events, and boy do we need it. I'm always joking about how I'm losing it. You know as a busy mum it's easy to forget stuff! I'm always forgetting where it is I put the keys or having to run back in doors to check that yes in fact I did switch of the washing machine or what not. To really lose my memory is not a nice fault and I really hope that never happens to me. 

Some people say that they have a photographic memory but in my opinion this statement isn't completely true. How can a photo album be the same. Memories are rarely exact copies of earlier experiences, they can be pretty close but exact no. There are people in this world that have a great memory. A lot of these people I have found have some form of developmental disorder such as autism or Asperger's they have this ability to use there memory in a very amazing way, some being able to remember long sets of numbers or the order of subjects. My son has Asperger's he is already showing some incredible skills that involve his memory and the way in which he can use it. G has an ongoing interest with trains and buses, apart from the love he has in discovering and learning how they work he also has the skill to remember where each one stops. There are hundreds of buses in London! G properly knows where 90% of these are going. The 10% he don't know I'm sure is only because he has not yet come across them. This is how it works! You tell G the number he then tells you where it start and finishes, I swear half these buses he has not yet been on but he has seen them for a short time and by looking at the information displayed on the front of the bus he has stored and retained the info for later use. If it's a train and he knows what line it is, he will go on to tell you all the stations on that one line. Pretty cool and totally has sod all to do with me as I have said my memory is rubbish so the condition must be the reason behind his amazing gift.

The collection of all memories that we hold is the library of our personal history. It builds into our story and our past memories can help us on our path in becoming what it is we want to be and later will become. 

We can always use ways to improve our memory but we can never control it as it is part of our brain and our brain is what controls us. As we age the changes in the way our memory works not only becomes visible to us but to others. It's all just part of the ageing process. So next time your granny don't remember you when you visit then don't worry as give it a week or two and she will be all over you the next time you visit telling you what a bonnie little baby you were.

So there we have it. This is the post made up from the result of a mum that has an interest in psychology having had a hour or two in her busy day to chill, kick back and enjoy a film. My husband asked me " why do you have to get all deep? why can't you just watch the bloody thing?" My Answer! That's just me! That's who I am.

If you want to read more about my little man G or learn more about ASD then you are welcome to visit my sister blog: A boy with Aspergers.